Saturday, 31 March 2012

Holy Video Review Batman!

Hey guys. I kind of have original content today, it's just not really my own.

Yes, that still counts. I was involved, and am a part of it.

It's a story that's a few months in the making really. When I did my interview with Bersercules way back when, we discussed the idea of doing a video review together. It took several months, but it happened in the end. This is that video review.

Warning, you will need sunglasses for the sheer levels of cool and awesome you are about to bear witness too.

Also you may need headphones for some of my bits.Blame crappy recording equipment, like I did.

Friday, 30 March 2012

Guest Post, Now With More Bastard

Hey guys, this isn't really the post I wanted to do, but dammit I'm not going to be able to churn that one out. I planned this huge emotional sobfest. For now though I'm just going to have to be lazy and rely on a guest post. I think I have maybe one or two others hidden away besides this one, but for now this is the one I'm going to use. I still appreciate submissions for guest posts too guys. The whole stuff that's killing my posts was what I was going to explain today, and while I've already nearly managed to do it, I have to stop, and hand the reins over to That Bastard From Bellingham. Bastard, if you read this, I'm sorry it took so long. Thank you for lending me some of your work to post. So, for now, enjoy the offerings from The Bastard;
-----------------------------------

It Was A Glorious Evening

A potters' wheel
her shadow splayed out on the grass
dirty honey gold a fan
her breasts, pillows
enticing and joyful
for the delight of her
a fond memory
in these days of grey
----


And the bearded lady
Practices what she preaches
For your money
She'll work for your pay

And hidden in the shadows
That clown does his thing
Twisting balloons
Twisted fantasies

Oh, it's there
A night time brigade
A real horrorshow
A creature feature

to last the ages

but don't you worry
about life's little problems
this jaded mystery
don't look away

just drown your misery

the sad little men
come tumbling out of clown cars
they're running again
with their floppy shoes

and don't question why
the magician's tricks are obvious
the shadows on the ground
show the assistants wires

what you might lose
if you point it out
might be greater for what it's worth
then what you may find out

don't cheapen your innocence
don't dare to let go
just keep on laughing
at the horrorshow

presented for you

Don't look away
Don't think in vain
Don't try the tricks
You'll lose again

and it's there
A night time brigade
A real horrorshow
A creature feature

to last the ages

but don't you worry
about life's little problems
this jaded mystery
don't look away

just drown out your misery

somethin' to ease the pain
somethin' to ease the pain
of transition
come again

somethin' to ease the pain
emotions you can't restrain
of transition
revel 
revel
in the pain 

--------
A Feel Good Punk Song

Project: No Rhymes, "A Night of Complete Horrorshow"

You cannot prove that you are real
You can't know just what I feel
You lack definite perspective
Go ahead and define the prescription

(drop an octave)
It's economical
It's all political
The truth that they try to hide
The shackles are in your mind

You forget your bravery
You forget you're the missing link
Nevermind their messages
Just stayed glued to your televisions

(chorus)

All your favorite tunes
All your favorite shows
Mass produced fashions
Acceptable by the

CORPORATE MEDIA SHIIIIIILLS

All your favorite songs
All your faved beliefs
Mass produced fascism
Acceptable by the

CORPORATE MORAL WATCHDOOOOGS

(bridge)

You disapprove of reality
You plug up your ears and scream
Logic and reason mean nothing
You'd rather be safe in your beliefs

(drop an octave)
Comfort and safety in your dreams
All is not as what it seems
Vapid attention is what you seek
Your mistakes your children will have to reap

You cannot prove that you are real
You can't know just what I feel
You lack definite perspective
Go ahead and define the prescription

(chorus)

All your favorite tunes
All your favorite shows
Mass produced fashions
Acceptable by the

CORPORATE MEDIA SHIIIIIILLS

All your favorite songs
All your faved beliefs
Mass produced fascism
Acceptable by the

CORPORATE MORAL WATCHDOOOOGS
----------------------------------------

You might be a bastard, but you're a good 'un. 

Wonder how much I've said bastard here.

Thursday, 29 March 2012

Rambling On

Hey guys. I have for you today another podcast. This one marks a slight change because it's one that, shock, I'm not too happy with. I actually felt nervous about doing a recording for the first time in a while. I figured that once I got over it, I would stay over it, but I guess not.

Another reason I wasn't too fond of it is that the subject matter, confidence, didn't last as long as I thought it could, so there was some empty spaces and I am kind of all over the place.

On the plus side, I guess, I made a random podcast that Bersercules wanted me to make.






As per usual I'm here;http://ramblingperson.podbean.com/2012/03/28/rambling-on/ if I'm not here.

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

It's About To Get Bersercules Up In Here


Hello you all, people that you are. I do still have some guest posts to publish, so if you sent me a guest post, don't worry, I am going to get around to posting it, and if you still want to send me one, then feel free to still send me one. This time we have, as per his request, Bersercules. He tells the story of how this post came about better than I do actually so I'll just leave him to

Hi! I'm Bersercules, the Berserk Herc! and today I'll be doing a guest post for Mark the Rambling Person. Though I'm sure Mark will post a few paragraphs before and after my part so its not as much a guest post as me bursting into the middle of his post and interupting him!

Hi! I'm Bersercules, the Berserk Herc! and today I'm interupting Marks post to bring you this!:

So Mark was looking for guest post ideas and I said I'd draw a picture of what ever he wanted and then write a story about it. He didn't suggest anything to draw, even after I asked a couple times, so finally I said I'd draw him thinking of something...  then he suggested something... so here it is! Both those things put together in one story!

One day Mark the Rambling Person sat thinking of what to think about... he couldn't think of anything to think of!



But then he had a thought!



He'd think about flying around on Fluttershy! Cause he liked that kind of thing!

So that's it! Its now the end!
----------------

That really is how it came about too. I think he did an excellent job and remember, the pictures are actually pretty damn big. Feel free to open the pictures in a new tab to see them in their full glory. 

I'm also sure there's some kind of game with these pictures where people can draw what they think I'm thinking.

Is this the gayest post to touch these pages? Tis a possibility. 

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Make The Tired Go Away

Salutations minions. I come before you after having gone through about four hours sleep, and spending all day at work, and reading 17 hours of blog updates. Because I didn't get to do any reading before going out. I need an iPod/iPad in order to read blogs when I'm at work. That is if I go to work more often.

I do have some guest posts, so if you've sent me one and I haven't published it yet, don't worry I really am going to post them. For now though I'm actually kinda finding myself with something to write about.

I actually had a very very bad start to my day. I woke up really early (like I just said) and I didn't get much sleep. After that I went to a cafe for some breakfast, only to sit there for an HOUR. AN HOUR because they forgot to make my food. I had an appointment to run to and had to go out. The guy was nice though, he apologized and he gave me a refund and let me have the tea that came with my food for free. Plus I do really like the place, I'm willing to let it slide.

After that on the way to the appointment, I nearly got run over by a guy who looked suspiciously like my boss. I confronted him about it later and he says it wasn't him. I wouldn't put it past him. When I got there (I was going to the job centre by the way) I found out that the person I was going there for wasn't there.

After that I went to work, which wasn't actually too bad. See I make bad decisions when tired. It turns out that this was the first time I had gone to work in six months. That's right folks, it had been six months. That's the joy of voluntary work. My boss complained a bit that I should have called, but I said he should have called too. Me and my boss have a weird relationship. He thinks we get on better than I think we do, but he is a pretty cool guy. I do have some fun with him really. He's done some bad shit too though, but overall he's pretty cool. But never tell him I said that.

I think on average my day has been pretty decent, except of course for the morning, and the reasons for just why I went into work after six months and stayed there all day despite wanting to leave several times because I had things to do at home. Things I'm now too tired to do. No you can't know what that reason was.

But yeah, decent day I think.

God I hope this blog doesn't become journalistic. PLEASE GOD DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN.

Monday, 26 March 2012

This Post Went 10 Hours With No Title

Hey guys no round up post today, I have too much to do this week. Instead though I can give you some highlights of last week before I kick things off here. I have some guest posts coming up and I have a few ideas I want to do myself, so I think this week might be full of content. Anyway, highlights of last week. Last Thursday I did another podcast, and yesterday was my 300th post, so check in on those days to see the celebrations/hear me be miserable. Not totally miserable, there was some good news in there too. Anyway, for today I want to share some things with you. I finally got some money, like I mentioned before, and I did something I never ever do.

No, I didn't buy a prostitute.

I treated myself.

I bought some things for myself, which I never ever do. I really don't treat myself at all. So for today I'd just like to share with you the things I bought. I also have another necklace on the way, but it's not here yet. I can just show you a picture of what it looks like, but not on me.

Well first off I bought some trousers, no pictures of those. I also bought a new shirt. The trousers are zip offs as well, so when I'm working out, or when it gets too warm in the house, I can turn them into shorts. I'm not likely to go outside in shorts though.

I bought a t-shirt that I will share with you guys. It's a t-shirt of Japanese singer Gackt. If you don't know who Gackt is, I feel sorry for you. I really do. Words cannot describe my joy at having his face on my chest. I don't know how I'm still alive. Anyway, pictures, pictures galore.
The necklace you may be able to spot there is something else I bought. It's a heartagram, the symbol of HIM. Again, if you don't know who they are, I feel sorry for you. I posted one of there songs way back on V-Day.

The other necklace I bought is the one that Squall from Final Fantasy VIII wears. It's not here yet so I can't show you an actual picture, but I can show you what it looks like.


Lastly I bought an actual microphone for recording podcasts and such, so hopefully, if I can use it correctly, sound quality may be better. At first I used my computers internal microphone, which was nice and all, but I felt like it could be better. After that I used the microphone in my phone. I think things got better, but still, it was a microphone in an old phone. So now I have a proper microphone. If things aren't much better then hey I got it in a clearance sale so it's not like I'm too out of pocket.

Buying one thing for myself, that's a lot as it is, but buying all this for myself, seriously it's a huge deal for me to do. But hey I couldn't buy any music or anything, so I bought some clothes instead. I have another complete outfit now, bringing my grand total to 3. Yayyyyyyy.

Sunday, 25 March 2012

300, 300 Everywhere

Don't worry this post isn't anything to do with that movie, though I may make some references. All the cool kids are doing it! No the 300 in the title is in fact the number of posts I've made. That's right I have made 300 posts. Give or take a few that were guest posts, or basic updates that don't really count as posts. Well, the point is that somehow or another three hundred posts have been published here.

In a way it's kind of a shame that this is a Sunday and really not many people are going to come here and join in the celebration, but what can you do? You can keep mentioning it until other people join in is what you can do.

There is also another achievement going down in the history books. I have hit OVER 9000! comments. Though given how I respond to nearly every comment, that's not that much of an achievement, but I wasn't my own 9000th commenter at least. I ran a Twitter campaign asking someone to make a comment because I wouldn't do it. Michael took up the gauntlet and made that 9000th comment for me.

I can't really think of anything major to do really. I'd do a little dance, make a little love, but what's the point if you can't see? Christ that would be scary actually. Let's just move on.



You can't mention 9000 without this. I'll try to think of something I can actually do to commemorate the occasion. Suggestions are of course welcome.

Saturday, 24 March 2012

Random Alert

Hey guys, I know at least one of you is missing actual content from me, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you patiently to wait just a little bit longer. I do have my old hard drive back, which does mean stories (yay) but not quite today (boo). Part of this is that I want to reread it before I start posting it again. I have no interest in rewriting everything, or whole chapters, but I may want to add a bit here and there. The other problem is that I don't really know what's going to happen next week, I have that many guest posts, but I also have some ideas now I want to mix in with those, add a podcast and well I think next week might be a week of pure content. So I didn't want to give you part of a story this week just to say next week "No story guys, sry." It's crappy enough you've been waiting this long. Instead, enjoy these pretty pictures. No theme, just random ones.


This is Guido Jesus. A Guido that either looks like, or IS Jesus

This is what Guido Jesus did on the seventh day. If you want to get technical seeing how Jesus and God are supposed to be one, then he WAS present at the 7th day. 


If you've played this game, then you know this feel

I'm always so fucking "fine"



I can't remember the last time I felt this bad about posting unoriginal content, but it's not like anyone's going to see. Plus I'm not trying to pass this off as my work. I didn't make any of these, I just stole them and now I'm letting you do the same. Have a fun weekend guys.

Friday, 23 March 2012

Guest Post: Terra Shield (A Spot of Guest Blogging)

Another guest post for you guys, this time from Terra Shield. It's a guest post about, well, guest posting. Thank you to Terra and everyone else who has contributed to me in my time of need. I love you guys.

-----------



Note: I wrote this post way back in 2008, when I was invited as a co-author of a blog which had bloggers from  3 different continents (Asia, Europe and South Africa) It was meant as an explanation for my quietness on that blog. The other day Mark said he was opening up space for guest blog posts, and I remembered this post, and figured that I'd volunteer it as a guest post. Ahem.

Are ideas that scarce? I find myself asking myself each time I pause to post something here and then give up, because I find it an extremely daunting task. I said I’d give it a shot, so here I am. Once again I find myself without a proper idea, so I thought I’d give my two cents on guest blogging.

After thinking (I should officially list it as my hobby, as I seem to spend countless hours thinking), I think I managed to put my finger on it. Actually, my finger merely brushed it before it disappeared into oblivion, but I think I got it this time. At least some of it…

Now blogging in a cool community like this one is as cool as it gets. It’s like you belong somewhere (if you find the sense of belonging somewhere to be important), and it is fun to watch the blog grow with all the different ideas and writing styles. And if your hobby includes reading blogs, then all the better as you have more stuff to read as there are more contributors!

I noticed I’ve been rather quiet on this blog and also on another blog AHD and I share. It’s pretty difficult to sit down and pinpoint the exact reason for this quietness. It might be the lack of something profound to say – I’m slightly prone to silliness and turn almost everything into some sort of joke. And with all the problems that are happening in the world how do you post something silly?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That was way back in 2008, when I felt rather insecure about the way I blogged. Although I have toned down on the silliness (unintentionally, of course as I suddenly seem to not have much time to dedicate to blogging these days, and there have been occassions whenthe silliness has been given a 'draft' status, never to see the light. Ever) I somehow do feel a bit more conscious about the content I post if it was going to be posted somewhere else with a different readership.

This being a guest post and all, I was wondering what are your thoughts on guest blogging?

TerraShield

Thursday, 22 March 2012

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Hey guys, it's Thursday which means it's time for another podcast from my bad self. Before we begin though I have some news, which I also talk about in the podcast but not all of you get to hear it. The first bit is that my not-quite-as-super-secret-as-we-would-have-liked-but-still-kind-of-secret-secret-project that I'm running with B and JOutlaw has finally gone live, but is yet to go viral. You can now find me, and the other two, at http://theblowoffreview.blogspot.com/. It's a wrestling blog where we review each show, give some thoughts on it, and we also have a feature called Worst. Match. Ever so even if you hate wrestling there's something there for you.

The other piece of news I wanted to share is that my podcast is now on iTunes *fanfare*. You can find me on there by clicking here http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/rambling-person/id510768643. Even though I generally publish all my podcasts here anyway, there IS an incentive to subscribing. First of all, you might miss one if you don't check in as often as you could, so it's a way for you to make sure you get your podcasty goodness, but there is also the fact that Podbean, who host my podcast, don't allow me to schedule them. I actually upload my podcasts a day early. So by subscribing you can get the podcast earlier than most people. That is until I upgrade my Podbean account, which won't be for a while yet.

Anyway, I've talked more than long enough, time to just faze out to the sound of my voice.





I changed which player it was and hopefully it will work.


As per usual if you can't find it it's at http://ramblingperson.podbean.com/2012/03/21/dont-worry-be-happy/

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Guest Post: Fang

In a continuation of the guest posts, this time we have an offering from Fang. He started out with one idea, but in the course of writing, changed subjects. Kind of. Either way it's still a good read. Plus he linked to himself in the post, so I don't have to link to him. Enjoy!
-------------------------------------------


'Sup guys, Fang reporting in for a guest post. Some of you know me, some of you don't. I'm the one dude who has a blog and posts stuff on it. Also, I sometimes do guest posts. Since Mark asked if anyone wanted to write a guest post, and he's a real bro, I figured "why the hell not".

I intended on talking about the lost meanings of religion and religious works such as the Bible, but that's kind of a tough nut to crack since it isn't extremely broad and hard to come up with really solid examples. So instead, I'll be discussing the similarities between belief systems, and why they seem so familiar at times.
Yeah, I said "belief systems" because I won't be solely talking about religion, but also beliefs and theories in general.

So what's the deal with religions and belief systems anyway? To sum it all up, someone (or a group of people) had an opinion, idea or experience, which others found either interesting and of value or just plain bullshit. The people who believed the guy sticked with him, together they (or a single individual) worked out their beliefs (and often wrote them down), and started trying to gain more massive a following.
For example, this one guy encountered a tiger, but the tiger just nodded at him and then left, instead of violently attacking. Upon returning home, the guy told the others what happened. They figured, "oh the tiger must want to help us, we should worship it" and so they worshipped the tiger. They took up habits of praying to the tiger or refraining from doing things that may insult it, and all these little rules and theories and stuff created a legit-seeming system.

What's my point here again? I'm not exactly sure myself either.
Ah yes. Somewhere on the other side of the globe, some other tribe had a similar experience with a lion. The same thing happened, but instead with different habits and whatnot.
After ages of those people sticking to their beliefs, having faith in it, the two groups came into contact with each other. Sure, cool, but "why the hell do you urinate against a tree? That's disrespectful for the tiger!" "Hell no, it shows the lion you want to take part in its creation!"

My point here is not that both tribes are really damn stupid, but rather that despite them having different rules and beliefs, there's still a similarity between them: they worship something, and it should be respected. This is the core of truth in both of them, because they are still thankful that one guy didn't get eaten.

…Okay, to be honest, that was a bit of a shitty example, but hey, I can go and explain it in a more abstract manner now.

With all these beliefs people have nowadays, there's bound to be a lot of conflict. But if we just stop yelling for a second, and take a closer look at the roots of our beliefs, we'll see they have a lot in common, and usually it's safe to say there's a common core of truth in there.
Whilst you shouldn't take everything for granted and truth right away, if you happen to find something in the Koran that's very similar in deep meaning to something the Bible says, there's a decent chance they are trying to get the same message across.

Hell, I can't help but feel I'm deviating from my original point, or not making a proper point at all. So let's just end it with this, shall we?
Be open-minded. Don't stay strong to your beliefs, wether it's what the Bible says, what some forum at the edge of the internet says, or science. There's always a rather big chance it isn't correct in some aspect, and another belief system may hold the true answer. Step out of your place as "theist" "atheist" or "scientist" for a while and take an objective look at thing. See them for what they are, look at what little truths they share.

Be open to new possibilities you may have never held for true. You might just've been holding onto the "wrong" end your entire life.
~ Fang
---------------------------------------------------

And also has a nice treat to him for doing this, and also to Mai actually, and everyone else who likes it, a supreme close up of my eye. Turns out I made a mistake and got the eye parts wrong, the ring is around my pupil, but hey there's a black ring around the iris. 



I don't have an amazeballs camera but the ring is visible in this at least. Like I said my eyes aren't as bright as they used to be, the green was a lot more noticeable before.

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Not All Self Deprecating

While there are guest posts this week, Normal.is.overated from http://concealyourthoughts.blogspot.co.uk yesterday did the tag mahdohickey were you list three things you like about yourself and three things you don't. She said she likes that and wanted at least one person to do it, so I thought "Well, why not me?" With how self deprecating I can be around here, and even to myself, well, ESPECIALLY to myself, maybe taking time out to say "Hey, I have awesome sides" wouldn't be so bad at all. So for your viewing pleasure, here are things I actually don't mind about myself. Though of course there are also things that I don't like, but hey you're used to that by now. Because it's supposed to end positive, I think, the things I don't like.

1) My weight, of course. At least I'm trying to fix that. I've had too many "bad days" lately though, so things aren't going as good as they should. Give it a while and I'll snap and start starving myself. Or at least I would if I would finally stop accepting that starving yourself is not a good thing and will only end badly.

2) My depression. I don't think I actually have a full blown depression, if I do it's manic. But when I get down, I get really down and then I don't feel like doing anything remotely productive. One of the reasons I've not been able to write so much lately is that I've just been down that much that my brain isn't working. I just want to shut down and sleep my life away. This ain't a good thing.

3) It's getting hard to think of things now. It's not that I'm out of things, it's that I'm out of things I can happily share. I guess for a third one my lack of social skills. I find it hard to make, and even harder to keep, friends. If you have a conversation with me you're going to have to do a lot of the work. It's a lot of work to be my friend, even more to really connect with me, and be a "real" friend. Though I suppose it keeps me safe from the phonies.

Okay three things I do like about myself.

1) My hair. When it's neat. It does some things I don't like, but overall I really do love my hair. It's one of the few things about my physical appearance I do like.

2) My eyes. Which are green with a yellow ring around the iris. The sad thing is though that because I'm so depressed lately, even when happy on the outside, my eyes have grown dull and don't shine anymore. I still like them, but they aren't the same these days.

3) My teeth. Even if they are kind of crooked in places (I recommend going to a dentist wayyyyyyyy more than I ever did) I still like them. They're quite sharpish, especially my canine teeth. The combination of my pale-ish skin (which I also like btw), aversion to sunlight, and fangy teeth has lead to me being called a vampire on more than several occasions. But I get a good laugh out of that.

4) as a bonus because I've always said I like my hair, teeth, and eyes. I like my capacity to love. To be there for people. I like when other people confide in me, and trust in me, and I like being there for them. That I can do that. Though of course I'm a freakin wreck when I can't be there for someone in a way I want to be.

So there you have it folks, proof that I can be approving of myself, and proof as well that if you give me an idea, I'm going to run with it.

Monday, 19 March 2012

The Week Where I Got Lazy

Hey guys, today marks the second day in a row I didn't write anything in advance. Though this time I come before you with excuses! I actually do almost have excuses. Yesterday I spent four hours with two of my nieces, my sister, and my dad as we were at the hopsital. Yes that's deliberately mis-spelled. Don't worry me and my ego are quite alright. It was one of my nieces. Poor thing fell off her space hopper and landed badly. At first she thought she had broken her wrist, then the doctors said it could have been her arm, then they finally x-rayed her, and then they said it was nothing. In one way I'm glad it was nothing, because she's one of my favourite nieces (she's one of the only ones that actually likes me) and also because that meant we could get the fudge out of there. By this point it was past the baby's bed time and she was bawling her eyes out because we couldn't find any juice for her. So anyway I got home late, tired, and hungry. Then proceeded to play Final Fantasy VIII for a few hours until about half one in the morning. I could force myself to read blogs but not write them. BTW I also recently completed FF VII, yay me! In more positive news I finally have some money, which may cheer me up as I may be able to salvage my old hard drive and all my old writings, which would of course be fantastic.

Damn this has lasted long enough to be a post as it is, but I'll do a round up anyway. It be habit. And expected. So anyway here's what went down last week. Boring week anyway, not much to see.

Tuesday was my appeal for guest posts as I'm currently in a dry spell writing wise. There's probably a lot to that dry spell, but I'm still accepting guest posts. Any and all.

Wednesday I waited until about midnight, commonly known as "the witching hour" but to me it's "the creative hour"...maybe my creativity is powered by witchcraft? O_O Nah I wrote that just now, my creativity is fuelled by tiredness. Though maybe that's just when my witch powers are at their highest...ANYWAY the point of the post was it was as Bart put it "three paragraphs of me writing about not having anything to write about."

Thursday was the latest in my series of Ramblingcasts (thanks again to JDC for that name. If it was him that suggested it, I have a crappy memory), this time it was about the relationship from four years ago. You remember the one, the one I said I'd never talk about. I got tired of not talking about it. Thank you guys for the awesome comments, seriously. I <4 you. That's one more than <3.

Friday was the first guest post so far. This one by Dirtycowgirl about how she see's her blog. Plus some ideas she has for Blog laws. This was something from her archives she thought people might never see, and really I'll take that too guys. I have a plan for a lookback myself, but this isn't the time, so I can't really do it just yet.

Saturday I posted the latest in my series of poems. Don't worry folks if I do go back to putting Immortal Space up on Saturday's I'll still post poetry too if I end up writing it. This was called Stream Of Consciousness, as for once I actually had a title. The point of it, I'm not quite sure. I started writing and just kept on going until my brain said stop. There are really like three poems in there, but it actually ends on a positive note!

Sunday I posted the song Nothing On My Back, by Sum 41. Even though it's Sum 41, who are a lot more deep and awesome than anyone gives them credit for, it is a situation I find myself in actually. It's why I posted it, the lyrics hit me just that deep.

So there you have it, another craptacular week here, fuelled by my lack of creativity. At least this week it's mostly guest posts. I'm hoping my brain can turn itself back on but I doubt it. I'm still in crappy situations.

Sunday, 18 March 2012

Nothing On My Back

Something odd happened to me. I didn't write this post in advance. I know I occasionally forget to write up a post on Sunday's but it felt like I didn't actually care. Which is odd because I have a lot of things planned for next week. Mostly guest posts, but I have an idea or two of my own. Or I would do if I remembered them, I need to take more notes. Anyway, here's just a nice little song for you. It's Nothing On My Back by Sum 41, with the Introduction To Destruction beforehand. The song itself starts at about the 38 second mark, but I do love the intro too. In the album Introduction was track one and this was track two. Anyway I've talked enough, you came for the music.

Saturday, 17 March 2012

Stream Of Consciousness

I have another poem for you today, I was able to get something creative out of me this week, it's just that I decided to save it for today as Saturday seems to be when I post my poetry. In reality in this thing there are potentially three separate poems but I decided to just keep it as one long one that I call Stream Of Consciousness because that's basically what it was. I was laid in bed and I just started writing and didn't stop until my brain said "Yeah, stop now, I can't think of anything else." At first it was supposed to be about how tiny words like "yes" and "no" can have such huge impacts on our lives. Then it became out my paranoia and my own thoughts about my future, about who I am inside, and then by the end I had realised that no matter what I would never be beaten by life. I think it works as one long poem. We'll see. So enjoy!


You said no
Then I got low
How was I to know
Which way your heart would go?

You say yes
I say God bless
I expected no less
That wasn't such a mess

I ask no question at all
There is no rise or fall
I stay behind my wall
I'm afraid of that fall

Answers are what I need
But they might make me bleed
If only I could be freed
If I could plant that seed

Afraid as always
Of what no one says
Come what mays
And one of these days

Being in love with misery
Is that really me?
Is that all I can be?
I'll show you, wait and see

I may have committed near every sin
But I have the power within
To let every new day begin
To go out there and win

Heart can be so cold
Soul long sold
But still so bold
And with the wisdom of the old

It can always be my day
It can always go my way
I need to do what I say
See the light when the skies turn gray

If I try I can do it
I can do it bit by bit
I can see the light through the slit
My fire has been lit

Friday, 16 March 2012

Guest Post: Dirty Cowgirl

This is the first guest post I have for you guys from my good friend Dirtycowgirl (yes everyone who does one gets a link, it's just common decency) and it's a post she had on her blog some time ago, so some of you may (amazingly) remember it. Either way you're probably going to enjoy it.
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How much do you care about your blog ?
I mean really care. A while ago I was talking to a friend about mine and I realised that I actually feel quite maternal towards it.

And no, this isn’t some strange side effect of my son growing up. If that was the case my cats would probably be dressed in baby clothes.
FYI they’re not.
I like my arms the way they are ie not covered in scratches.



But anyway.
My friend thought I should’ve been offended as I showed him a very negative review that had been done about it on another blog, I had submitted it for a dare as this particular site is well known for ripping it out of other blogs. He said if he had put work into something that someone else then slated he wouldn’t be happy and he couldn’t understand why I wasn’t bothered.
I only showed him because I found it funny and the silly twat got all defensive of me. Bless.

I said it’s all rather subjective, I’ve seen plenty of blogs that I don’t like. Nothing particularly bad about them, they just didn't interest me, and I never really thought anyone other then the few personal friends who know about it would read mine but here I am with my very own flock.
Just call me Bo-Peep.
Nah, scrap that - she lost hers.
If any of my followers leave me I will hunt them down like a motherfucker.



But it was talking about that, and the fact that my words are now read by people all over the world and how pleased I am about that, that led me to realise that my blog is in fact my baby.

If I don’t post for a few days does that make me guilty of neglect ?
And if there are other bloggers who feel the same about theirs maybe it’s time we had Blog Protection Laws - what constitutes blog abuse ? Can you bully a blog ?
Is making a back up of your blog like getting your kid inoculated against mumps and measles ?

And will my blog eventually grow up, develop a mind of it’s own and fuck off and leave me.

Every once in a while there seems to be a rash of people posting that they are having problems with gadgets and commenting ( although usually when blogger are making changes) I guess like all babies our blogs can get sick. But there's no need to be getting all panicky and bothered, it’s the same in any playground when a virus goes round, everyone gets sick sooner or later.
And Dr Google always finds a cure.

I like the fact that the people who follow my blog did so because they read it and wanted to see more. But I can understand that it must be quite disheartening to think that of all the many millions of people who now belong to blogger there is nobody who wants to read yours.
I suppose it depends why you blog really.
And the size of your ego.
I’ve never had a problem with self confidence, and I don’t need the approval of other people to validate myself. Of course it’s nice to be appreciated but I wouldn’t lose any sleep if no-one liked my baby. As long as Mummy loves you you’re ok.

But I guess the blogs with no followers are the internet equivalent of the kid with nits and a snotty nose that nobody wants to play with.
There are a few I follow that have readers in the thousands, that takes some doing - and talent.
Well unless you want to fill your page with porn pics. Yeah those blogs (which I stumbled on purely by *ahem* accident) often have tens of thousands of followers. And no doubt just as many anonymous ones.
I’d never do that - it’d be like sexually abusing it.

And the other thing about followers is that like a lot of people I would rather have just a few that actually read it, left an occasional comment and participated then thousands that are just pictures on the sidebar. Sometimes a new one appears, leaves a comment with a URL inviting me (a middle aged sarcastic bitch) to follow their blog that's about either computer games or being a "mommy" (they clearly never read my posts about Son). Or my pet hate, endless pictures of idiots falling off skateboards/writing on drunk people/dribbling babies, all stolen from other sites and music videos from bands I have never heard of, but no actual written content although they do have 25 adsense banners.
And when I don't follow back they pretty soon remove themselves from my list.
Good. Fuck off and don't come back.

My precious child does not want to play computer games and be influenced by the 'special' kids.
Given that it’s the product of my grey matter it’s got enough to contend with.

The blogger awards are nice too. I appreciate the ones I’ve received, but it got a bit silly for a while - there were a few that seemed to be going around given with instructions to pass to 4587 other people. Great. But then I realised that if everyone had one they lost their value.
When I first got some I was very pleased indeed.
Now it’s like attending the end of term presentation, swelling with pride because your child’s won an award only to find that every kid got the same certificate.



But anyway, my baby has been backed up and protected.
And now I realise how much it means to me I’ll smash your face in if you hurt it.



Thursday, 15 March 2012

Surprise!

So here is the big surprise I mentioned on Monday. It's a podcast, no that wasn't the surprise, what I talk about will be though. I'm sorry if my voice sounds weird or anything I'm still stuffy from my bout of flu last week but I soldiered on and made a podcast. Enjoy!





This one had the potential to be long, there were a lot of stories I could have told but find myself not doing, but I think it's still a good length. As per usual if the embedded player isn't working it, along with all my other works, can be found here: http://ramblingperson.podbean.com/2012/03/14/a-surprise/ and I hope to be on iTunes soon too.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

I Got Tired And Wrote This

First of all guys thanks for the responses to the guest post post. I'm looking forward to some guest posts, but I still didn't have anything for today. As such I decided to wait until I was at my most creative (it's a quarter past midnight while I'm writing) and just load up the interface and see what comes to me. Well partly that was also caused by me just not wanting to accept that I didn't have anything to write. I don't really like not having anything to write about, not admitting my faults.

It's kind of odd that for someone so self deprecating and self destructiveness to refuse to accept their own faults. I have them though, and I think I've gone into them enough as it is. Shame, I could have maybe made a post out of that couldn't I? I just don't like the idea of not being able to do something I know I can do really.

I accept that I can write, that I have random spurts of creativity and I act on them, and that I can do some decent things when I want to. I've managed to keep this blog going for like 8 or 9 months now, that's kind of hard to believe sometimes.

Is this the end of me? No, I don't think that at all. I know I still have it in me, it's just that for a lot of reasons I've kind of lost my mojo. I've been through some things personally, some of which I'm still going through. Usually when it feels like things are getting on top of me, I don't want to do anything. I still read your blogs mostly out of habit and commitment and a sense of duty, but I don't have anything really to write for my own. This is what caused me to ask for guest posts.

See, I'm not likely to take time off at all. Certainly not from reading anyway. Apart from one incident that was out of my hands last year I have always updated once a day for quite some time now, and much like The Deadman, my streak will not be broken.

I just need something to go right for me for once. Maybe something will.

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Door's Open Boys (And Girls)

It took me quite some time to do this, but I'm going to do it. I'm going to actually ask people to write guest posts for me. It's as simple as this. Lately I've not really had much in the way of inspiration, or things coming to me that make think "Hey, write about that." I've just been lacking motivation, I've been lacking happiness really I suppose. But I can't write about what's making me sad. I can't write about what's happening.

As such, my lovely little blog as suffered, and I haven't been able to give it the love it deserves, or needs. I still want to write, this blog has been an amazing influence on my life, both positive and at times negative, mostly positive, and I would like to see it's continued existence.

As such, instead of asking you to suggest topics to write about, I'm going to ask you to write about topics yourself. I'm going to ask that you lend me a spare draft, or if you have, or want to make, a post that doesn't fit in with the theme or style of your blog, or something you think wouldn't go down so great on there. Such as me and having other people host my poetry.

As well as giving you a chance to help me, I'm giving you a chance to do something good for yourselves as well, and I'm giving you the chance to use my soapbox.

Fang has already said he will do one for me, and I hope to have it up tomorrow, or Friday, but I would greatly appreciate anyone else who wants to do something.

This feels more like a cry for help than me being nice and saying I want you to do a guest post for me.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Anyway, if you have something spare, or you can write something for me, then feel free to write to me at ramblingperson@hotmail.co.uk. That's the email from my contact page but I thought I'd save you the trouble of having to click that page.

I'm also open to things besides guest posts too btw. Send me some questions if you want or something, I can do another Q&A.

So ends me actually allowing myself to ask for help. It was nice while it lasted, I don't see it happening again.

Monday, 12 March 2012

I Really Hate Repeating Titles

I know that for a round up post, as it's part of a series, just the words "Round up" followed by the dates would be good enough but I really do hate to be that repetitive. Anyway, you'll be happy to hear, possibly, that I am feeling better. For those of you who don't know I didn't have a very good weekend, and spent most of it in bed. Sadly without the comfort of a woman, but I DID have the comfort of Johnny Depp. Which is way better. I'm choosing to believe that the Pirates Of The Caribbean movies helped me have a miraculous recovery. Shitty personal life aside, here's what happened here last week.

Tuesday was seriously damn long. I got two awards, and answered two tags. A lot of stuff about me in this one. We all know how much I love questions. No matter how many times I get tagged I'm probably going to answer them.

Wednesday was about my latest driving adventures. I didn't get one last week, so there isn't a write up on it this week. I do have one this week though. I think I also remember what I learned last week so I can go into this one knowing what I have to do. I could always read up on my posts of course. That would imply I read anything I write though.

Thursday was my latest podcast, this time about how I wouldn't change a moment of my past. I started this one sounding happy, but there was no way that was going to continue. I won't be sounding happy this week either. Sorry to disappoint. I'm not sure if I can do one this week though, my nose is still stuffy so I'm not talking very well, and I think I talk bad enough into a microphone as it is.

Friday I wrote about the NHS, or National Health Service, here in Britain, and it's good and bad sides. This didn't turn out so great in my opinion but someone asked me to write it. The reason it didn't go so great is because I don't deal with doctors and hospitals much, and I didn't do any research.

Saturday I shared a poem that I was, amazingly enough, happy with. I have no poems in reserve so I don't know what's going to happen this Saturday. I still haven't received any benefits payments yet. Despite it being a month. The point is I don't have the funds to salvage my old hard drive still. Hopefully, and I seriously bloody hope, I will get some money this week. It's getting pretty damn stupid now. I want to write and continue my stories, and not restart them, or rewrite them.

Sunday I was ill, as explained above, so I went to one of my staples, Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie. There was an excellent comedy sketch that they did (that could be any of them) and so I shared it. Enjoy it!

This week I have a Hell of a surprise for you. That is if I can record that podcast. It could get pretty long.

Sunday, 11 March 2012

I'm Ill, Here's Some Comedy

I spent most, okay pretty much ALL of yesterday laid up in bed ill. I was ill Friday but it wasn't that bad. Though in some ways it's not been as bad today. My sore throat went and so I was able to drink. To be honest I spent the day watching the Pirates Of The Caribbean movies. The first three that is. A day spent watching them is not a day wasted at all. Anyway, the title promised comedy, so here is some comedy. It's another awesome sketch by Fry and Laurie, and the end line is just amazing and one of the funniest lines I've ever heard.



PS I have no posts ready for next week at all. Eep. I've been too ill and really messed up these past few days to write, or even think of things to write about. It's not good at all.

Saturday, 10 March 2012

Not All That Bad

Levy(athan, I'm calling you Levy now) if you read this I got a laugh out of you actually reading through the archives like that. I left some replies if you haven't seen them. If you can remember any of the posts you commented on.

I have yet another poem for you today, with a slight difference this time. This one I actually like and had fun writing. I actually wrote it on a car journey on my Blackberry and then emailed it to myself so I could copy it. Anyway, another difference is that this time, there isn't really a way to tell what it's about, and I'm not going to tell you. I want schoolchildren in a hundred years time to look over my poetry and debate on what it's actually about so I can get a good laugh in Hell. Enjoy it!

You were there when I needed you
You never let me down
You always took away
Whatever made me frown

I hold you in my hands
I take you in with my eyes
You never hurt me
Or told me any lies

You had your beauty
You had some flaws
You didn't even mind
When I broke your laws

I've needed you a lot
In this life
You kept me from pain
Even from the knife

Now as much as ever
I put my trust in you
I can always rely on you
You can make a way through

With your help
I will always get by
I hope you'll stay with me
Until the day I die

Friday, 9 March 2012

National Health Service

So ages back I didn't have any ideas for posts, and Terra Shield suggested I do something on the good and the bad of the NHS, which is where the title of this post comes from. I haven't dealt with the NHS much, it's not exactly that I'm healthy it's that I don't like dealing with doctors.

But, I'm out of ideas again. So I'm going for this one. Let's see just what I can do. Of course I'll issue another plea for ideas. I'm not really burnt out, I'm just low on ideas. Well, whatever.

So, the NHS.

Good?
Well there is a lot of good. It's nice to not have to worry about insurance for a start. Sometimes it seems pretty simple too. The main advantage is the lack of worry. I really can't think of much else that's good.

Bad?
Well there is also some bad. It's not completely free, but I guess you couldn't expect it to be totally free. You have to pay for the medicine of course, and there are sometimes treatments you have to pay for because not everything is on the NHS. If something is too costly, or too experimental/risky, then it's not going to be free either. It has to work for it to be on there.

For example a sex change isn't available on the NHS. Though this doesn't affect me, it does affect other people. For some inane reason the hormones are on the NHS, but not the actual surgery. So there are people out there who can't become physically what they are mentally.

Though there are much worse than that that isn't on the NHS. I've seen several people have to raise funds or ask for money for live saving treatment they couldn't get on the NHS. I know Canadia has one and I'm not sure what theirs is like, but I'm pretty sure ours isn't what people think it is.

It has problems, but there are people working on solutions. Though apparently the big one they have coming through is something that's going to make it all worse, not better. Like I said I've not really dealt with them much, so I don't really know a lot. Sorry if this is crappy.

At least I have a few days to think up more ideas.

Thursday, 8 March 2012

Past And Present

I know on Thursday's you've come to expect something personal. This week won't be that much different. The only real difference is that I'll be talking about it instead of writing about it. That's right folks it's time for my third podcast. Which was technically my second but then EA went all EA. So this was pushed back into this week. The topic this time is changing things in my past, and how I wouldn't do it. I have one more idea for a podcast, which is I'm finally going to get around to talking randomly for Bersercules. For now though here's this weeks, and as always more ideas are always appreciated.






Also again, as per usual, should it not work you can find it at http://ramblingperson.podbean.com/2012/03/08/past-and-present/

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Bringing You Up To Speed

First off a quick note to clear up any possible confusion caused yesterday. I am not getting married. If I had a love in my life, I probably wouldn't be so bleak. My sister is getting married and I get to be her usher. My only regret is that the suit isn't as purple as I thought it would be (Lilac is NOT PURPLE!) and I don't think I'll get to keep the suit. Those are the only reasons I really agreed to do it. Anyway, on with the real show for today.

Welcome to another adventure in the series of "My Attempts To Not Crash", as per usual that's a working title. Should I release my memoirs one day though that may be the title of the section that deals with my driving lessons. Or I suppose if I die in a car crash that can be my epitaph. "This is the end  of the story of my attempts to not crash." I shouldn't be thinking about that though, right?

So that implies I didn't crash, which is quite true, which is very good considering I faced more oncoming traffic today, did a downhill start from too close to another car than I would have liked to have been, and went on the main road. In case you're wondering what I was doing on the main road I live on one and instead of driving me back home my instructor felt the need to make me do it. Lazy fucker. But that was at the end of the lesson. When I was already having panic attacks.

Oddly enough though I started great, I even got better with braking. Now my major problem I need to work on is steering. I turn way too early, and I drift too close to the pavement. Again this is another mental barrier I have to push through. I'm so concerned with staying in my lane and not hitting something oncoming that I actually get too close to the other side and have a different kind of accident. I also need to realise that a car can make a much sharper turn than I give it credit for. I can turn, but it's not very smooth at all, and the back wheels come pretty close to hitting the pavement, which isn't good.

I learnt clutch control properly today. Seems odd to leave it until the fourth lesson but that's that. For those of you who don't know (it turns out I didn't really know either) this is where you use the clutch to control the car. As the name implies. Which I'm just realising now. If you let the clutch go a little, you will crawl forward, if you press it in more, you'll stop, or move a little backwards depending on the angle of the car. So basically you have to get the clutch in just the perfect position where the cars momentum and gravity are exactly the same and the car remains stationary. Who thought physics would come in handy with driving cars?

So anyway one of the main functions of this is that if you're coming up to a junction or a turn and you may need to stop, you can just crawl up to it using the clutch and brake a lot easier. Unless you're me. Like I said for the start of the lesson things seemed to go smoother, but then I started making mistakes, and then my confidence was shot. When I make one mistake that's it, I'm screwed. The biggest mistake I made was an annoying ass junction. I'm not sure how well I can explain it but basically at the bottom of a road, there is a mini roundabout, with a road leading left off of it. If you come in from the left side, you have to go left around the ring and then stop before you hit the road. There are also two lanes there, and I had to go onto the right lane because I was turning right. Because I have it drilled into me that I should drive on the left side of the road though, I kept naturally going into the left one.

I seriously jump out my seat ever time my instructor grabs the wheel. I know the less mistakes I make the less he'll do it though, so hey it's great motivation I guess.

He did say I'm improving though, that's something to take from it.

Also my dad says that after 10 lessons he'll allow me to drive in his car with him for extra practice. It seems a lot to me but I can see his reasoning. I don't think I'm good enough to do it with him right now, and I seem to be a bit of a slow learner when it comes to this. I'm even forgetting to check my blind spot when moving off now. At least I still check my mirrors every time I have to.

Anyway, improving, gotta focus on that.

I also didn't have a lesson this week, my instructor was on holiday, so I have to think of something else to write next week. Oh well.

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Award Tags

This was going to go up tomorrow but the guest post wasn't ready after all. Just a quick point, if you ever do want to do a guest post just drop me an email.

I was tagged (twice), again  and I also got another award I haven't gotten before. So look forward to inanity and pretty pictures as I answer questions and flash things at you that aren't my penis.

So, first off, the award.
Look at how shiny it is
A  little bit ago Bersercules got one, and said that even though he didn't pass it on to me, I was one of the blogs he enjoys. He gave it to some really creative people though so I didn't mind so much. Luckily for him, and for me I guess, Terra Shield got one too, and she decided to give it to me (to the best of my knowledge Terra Shield is a female, if not, then eh, I've been called a girl a lot, it's no big deal). It calls for ten random facts and of course for me to pass it on. We'll see about passing it on but I can handle the ten facts at least. I think.

1. I recently bought the first and third book in the Hunger Games series. The store I was at wasn't stocking the second for some reason. I asked on Twitter what the second one was but no one gave me an answer.

2. I have three broken laptops and I have no idea why I'm keeping them. I've salvaged the hard drives from two of them, and I'm not sure about the third. I also took the RAM out of one and put it in another.

3. I lost two inches off my waist. When I was being measured up last week for my wedding suit, it turned out I had lost two inches. Despite not losing much in the way of physical weight. I think I need to stay off the scales for a while. Though that was last week, I've probably put it back on by now.

4. I have two TV's in my room. One is the one I actually use and the other is my old one that's just sitting on top of my drawers because it has nowhere else to go.

5. I still don't have a bedroom door.

6. l'm not actually that fond of my own voice. I know you guys seem to love it, but I would like some more clarity to it. However I know if I try I can speak clearly.

7. I have a deep singing voice. I think I do anyway. I just think my natural voice to sing with is a lot deeper than my "normal" voice. I can sing "normally" but it sounds much better to me when I deepen my voice.

8. I don't get drunk. Jessica can say I've gotten drunk, and so can my family, but I've never hit that point when I really feel like I'm drunk. I can and do however say "I'm drunk" to do things that I wouldn't normally do.

9. I never stop thinking. I can overthink even the tiniest detail and wonder just what people meant for a while, or why they did something.

10. My favourite colours are purple and black, and I once had purple hair extensions put in for a laugh at work.

Do I really have to pass it on? To six people no less. Dammit. Let's see here...I want to stick to creative people too...

Anne of Anne's Attic - She posts some really great artwork she's made herself and has recently gotten into painting miniatures at long last.

The Angry Lurker of...well, The Angry Lurker, who also paints miniatures and does a pretty damn good job of it.

KbbuddingWriter of The World, The Way I See It, who even though he dropped out of a story part way through, is quite creative.

Generally Disgruntled of A General Malcontent whose work is sadly stopping him from being creative. He is a hell of a writer though.

Mynx of Lizard Happy. An amazing artist, and a good person. Even though Blogger forced her to move to Wordpress she never forgot about us and always comes back.

one more left...come on I can do this...

I have it!

Shockgrubz of Randoom Blog. That's doom with two o's. He has posted some utterly insane stories, and he recently joined the podcasting bandwagon with his amazingly manly voice. He even gave me a shoutout but that has nothing to do with this.

Oh look at me go, I actually managed to pass an award on. Woooooooo.

Okay now to handle the tag. It was by Mai Yang, also known as Flora The Most Awesome Goddess I know I've been tagged a lot, but hey, it's questions. We all know how much I love those. Ha, so anyway, I already gave some facts out and I already passed on the award so I'm not going to tag others. Instead I'll just answer her questions.


Why do think you're tagged in this game?
Because you couldn't think of anyone else? Who wants to know more about me? Besides me of course.

What is your ideal girl/guy?
To be honest I'm not sure. In the words of our Lord Darren Hayes, I thought I'd found the one a million times. Basically though I want someone who wants me. I would of course like someone who has similar interests.

What turns you off (girl/guy)?
I'm not sure it's possible to turn me off but what I least like to see in a person is hypocrisy and manipulation. Which makes me a hypocrite actually. I just hate to be used. I'm too nice and it happens to me a lot. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad that I'm so generous given how much I've been used. I think opinion would differ on that.

Do you believe in love and marriage?
Yes but I'm not sure I'll ever have it. I'm not sure I'm actually capable of feeling love. Or of someone being able to put up with me long enough to want to marry me.

What would you do if you only have 24hours left in your life?
Well if I was going to die in 24 hours then I don't know, I'd probably try and hang out with Jessie but I'd leave before the end. I don't want her to see me die. Plus, you know I want to die alone. If the world was going to end in 24 hours I'd be busy ending the world.

If you're to travel somewhere, name 3 persons you wanna bring along with and where?
I'd take Jessie, her girlfriend, and some random hooker for me up to anywhere I can see the Northern Lights. There are too many places I would love to go, but the Northern Lights is something I would most definitely love to see first hand.

When was your first kiss and who?
Not counting a part of my past I will never talk about my first kiss was when I was 17 and it was Luci. I probably shouldn't have said that first bit but when you ask me a question I'm honest. That wasn't my actual first kiss, but no, it's something I will never ever ever EVER go in to.

What do you hate the most in a person?
Dammit I answered that earlier. I could think of something else I guess. Hate is a strong word too. I don't like people who bring others down to make them feel good about themselves, and the thing I absolutely hate most is having my emotions played with. That can kind of come under being used though, which was mentioned earlier.

Who do you look up to the most?
Jessica. That's Jessie btw if you can't work it out. I'm striving to call her Jessica now. Anyway, she's had it really rough in life, way worse than I did, but she's also ended up so much better than I did. She's gone to college, and next year is even going to university. I admire her strength and courage and her ability to pick herself back up.
How do you see yourself 5 years from now?
Doing your wife. Seriously though, I don't really know. Who I am, what I want, and what I do seems to change all the time. Five years ago I thought by this time I would be in university. I can say I'd like to be a lean, mean, writing machine though. I still also aspire to go into psychiatry. At the least I can say that in five years time, I would like to be more stable, mentally, physically, and financially. I would like to have more direction in life too, and know more what the Hell I actually want.

If you have something to say to the tagger (that is me), what would it be? :D
Will you marry me? Well what I would actually say is good luck with that boy if you go for it. Or already went for it. I'd also like to echo Timothy's sentiments that you're beautiful, inside as well as outside. So, like I said, it's that guys loss if he doesn't like you.

Now I was also tagged by Mynx. Kind of. Sort of. Well what happened is that Mynx was tagged herself, and asked the questions like you do, and then said that I like to do this kind of thing and that anyone else could do it. So, technically I was tagged. All my fault for admitting I like to answer questions. 'Tis true though. Sometimes I don't know something about myself until some asks me about it. So anyway, I'm just going answer her questions, and do a bad job of it since so many of them pertain to Australia. Which  I know very little about. So please forgive me oh wise and powerful Mynx!

Why are there so many songs about Rainbows?
Are there that many? I never really noticed. The only song I really know that's about rainbows is the nursery rhyme that apparently gets the colours wrong. I much prefer songs about how life and love is an endless stream of misery that is only ended by the knife. Or a tall building.*

If you could come down under, where is the first place you would go?
At first I didn't have an answer, but now I do because I've been talking about him. I would like to go to Darren Hayes' old house in Australia. Then I would stay there until I found his current house.

Which way does the water go down your drain – clockwise or anticlockwise?
I've never really looked but I think according to The Simpson's it's clockwise. I'm in the Northern hemisphere at least. You won't find me down in Rand McNally. I hear there that people wear shoes on their hands and hamburgers eat people anyway.

Would you eat a pie floater? 
I have no idea what that is. /Google. That actually looks quite god. I would try one.

When was the last time you tried something new?
This depends on what you mean by "new." If you mean doing something for the first time then it would be very recently when I read a Daredevil graphic novel for the first time. If you mean something of actual substance then it's probably when I started my driving lessons. Like I said, it depends on what you mean by "new".

Scrunch or fold?
I like folding things, it makes them fit better and look neater but I have no idea if that's anything to do with the question.

What is the scariest activity you can think of and would you do it?
Probably sky diving or cliff diving. Would I ever do it? Not bloody likely.

What is the first Australian slang word you think of and when would you use it?
It's probably got to be "Crikey!" and I'm not sure if that word is actually Aussie in origin. I don't know any Aussie words really. I'd be likely to use "crikey" if something caused me to shit myself. Such as if I spotted an alligator I had to wrestle.

"Ego is not a dirty word” what do you think?   (Classic Aussie music reference)
Ego isn't a dirty word at all. There is such a thing as a healthy ego. There is a point when it becomes annoying but for the most part ego itself, and pride in yourself, can be a very good thing. As with everything, it's good in moderation. Some people think I could do with a healthier ego. Or just one that isn't flat lining. By some people I mean nearly everyone who knows me.

What is your all time favourite Australian movie
I don't think I know any other than the obvious of Crocodile Dundee. It's been years since I've watched those films so I don't even remember if I like them. Or if I've ever really seen them. If someone names some famous Aussie films I'll happily tell you if I like them.

Who would you go gay/straight for?
Well being bi I don't have to go gay or straight for anyone. Though no one says no to Hugh Jackman when he's dressed as Wolverine. No matter which outfit it is.

And that's that folks. Hmmm, that seems to be a definite enough ending really. Enjoy!

*not strictly true. One thing that amused me and Jessie in school was how everyone thought we were gothic emos who were rocking out to heavy metal when we were knee deep in Darren Hayes and Savage Garden. Though we did also listen to some metal. We really betrayed our image though.

Last but not least, I was handed a Liebster blog award by Gina Gao of Modern World, so a thank you to her too.

I'm done now, srsly.

EDIT: Wasn't quite done, fixed a typo.

Monday, 5 March 2012

I Barely Remember Last Week

I actually don't remember too much about last week. Well what happened off the blog anyway. It wouldn't surprise me too much if I was repressing it, but I always forget what happens anyway. I can't remember a few hours ago sometimes. If I'm lucky I'll forget what I was doing a few minutes ago. I have repressed things before though, I don't remember too much from a few years ago when I was a serious mess. Anyway, let's remember what happened last week, on the blog at least, shall we?

Tuesday was a write up on my most recent driving lesson. Well, the one before my most recent one actually because I had one last week too that has a write up coming this week. No lesson this week though, my instructor is on holiday. Shit sucks because I'll be out of practice but oh well. I remember what he told me (somehow) so I remember what I have to keep in mind. More on that later in the week though.

Wednesday was a write up of my time in court. It went okay, I didn't stumble too much and I answered the questions honestly. Maybe a little too honestly. The guy was found not guilty. I didn't stay for the verdict, I got a letter about it instead. The case is classed as closed now. Oh well.

Thursday I talked about how I'm not wishing my life away, and I talked about some of my goals, and the things I hope to do one day, and how I am working towards those things. A dream without action will only ever be a dream. So remember folks, wishing is fine, wanting is fine, but go get it too!

Friday was my second podcast. This time around it was my thoughts on preowned games, and how EA are dicks. It was caused by EA and the game retailer GAME having a fall out. At first I thought it was over preowned games, so went on a rant on my stance on that, but Henry has since informed me it wasn't over that. Though I wouldn't be too surprised if one day something like that happened.

Saturday I posted yet another poem, this one about how who I am isn't so bad, and I'm in no hurry to change, at least, not for someone else. I don't want to become something I don't want to become.

Sunday was a song for my fellow nerds and geeks who never get the pretty girl. Remember guys, she can't handle you anyway. James T. Kirk bows beneath your fists!

Between guest posts, podcasts, awards and tags this week has pretty much written itself. Well that is other than the stuff I've actually had to write. But there is another podcast this week, another poem too on Saturday, this one I actually like too, imagine that! I do hope I can salvage my old hard drive soon, or just give up and rewrite the rest of Immortal Space, if any of you even remember that. It's nice to share some poetry, and I've been glad to be able to come up with at least one poem every week, but I'd like to get back to something I can definitely do. I already have most of the story planned out, poems come and go to me.

Anyway, hope you had a good week, and that you enjoy this week.

Sunday, 4 March 2012

You Can't Handle This

This may be one of the greatest songs in existence. This for all the smart guys who don't seem to get the girl. Remember, the bitch can't handle this, even Nimoy can't handle you. The lyrics are so damn good, I urge you to watch the video, or at least look up the lyrics so you can read them.

Saturday, 3 March 2012

It's Not Much But It's Something

Well I don't really know what to say, I couldn't really think of anything to put here. While I have money now I haven't begun work on trying to salvage my hard drive, and I'm not sure I can start it yet. Jessie is coming today and I'm buying pizza. It may be my one and only chance to treat a girl to a night in, and there's no chance of getting laid.

Bah.

So in the interests of giving you something, here's my latest poem. I'm not too happy with it really. I tried having a go at longer verse, but it felt like I was making it rhyme for the sake of rhyming. I know poetry doesn't have to rhyme, but to me I just don't feel right unless it is rhyming. Part of the reason I stick to short verse is so that it still makes sense and I don't just arrange words or use them to use them as a rhyme. Anyway I've ranted enough (that'll never really happen) so here's your poem. This one has no title.


I can see it
That guiding light
From where I walk
In the night
I'm not sure though
If I want to see such a sight
If I'm even ready
If it's even right
Can I even do this
The light seems so bright

I'm almost afraid
To leave what I know
What would I do
Where would I go
I really do like the dark
It's not just for show
There is beauty in moonlight
I'll have you know
Do I really have to leave
If I want to grow

Will I allow myself to feel
To take the good with the bad
To go back to being happy
After feeling sad
To see the good in me
Even if I am bad
Is it so hard
To even feel glad
But is what I do and am
All that bad

I like who I am
I won't change for you
I won't change for anyone
And there's nothing you can do
There is more to me
Than you ever knew
Some parts of me
I don't know too
I'm still discovering who I am
That much is true

Who I am though
Seems easy to me
For I am all that I am
And can ever be
I can change who I am
Do you see
I can become anything I want
This I do decree
Though who I am isn't all that bad
Sometimes not even to me

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