Friday, 21 March 2014

The Day After The Day Of Happiness

I would have loved to have written this yesterday, on the actual International Day of Happiness, but unfortunately that was not to be. I only found out about said day the day of said day, and by then it was too late. I have very, very mixed feelings about such a day. It's okay though because it's over now. You can go back to being miserable and no one will care.

See that's part of it. I'm glad that people have taken a day out for happiness. You might argue that people should think about what makes them happy all the time, but you'd be wrong. They should, but they never will. It's why I love "X Day" holidays. If people only do it for one day, then at least they're doing it.

What I'm not so happy about though is the idea of just telling everyone to be happy. I have struggled with a depression for quite a large chunk of my life. I'm still suffering with it in many ways. I want to be happier and for the most part I am. Then I have times where I'm a very miserable person. The last thing I want to hear when I'm depressed is someone telling me to be happy. I HATE this idea that being depressed is a choice. Even people who are really, really, depressed find something they like and that makes them a little bit happy. It might not be what conventionally makes you happy, but it makes 'em happy. As happy as a depressed person can be anyway.

There wasn't much more of an insult than someone telling me to be happy. It's one of the things I clashed with my boss about. He wanted me to be happy and smile and such, but I just couldn't. I reached the point I couldn't even fake a smile. Be happy all you want. We should all be happier. The world would be a better place if people weren't depressed and if more people were happy. By God spread your cheer.

Just...don't be a dick about it. Rather than tell someone to cheer up or be happy, give them something to be happy about.

8 comments:

  1. I remember one guy who told me "depression is just a monster in your mind." It sounds good, but I agree with you that it is a medical condition and not a choice. There are many factors involved in depression, and probably the least of them involve choosing to not be happy. In fact, I have a theory that perhaps depressed people are trying TOO hard to be happy.

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  2. This goes for most mental issues, illnesses, whatever. For some reason people put it in the category "mood" or "state of mind" rather than "actual problem" or "illness". You don't go and tell someone with a broken leg they're just overthinking it, now do you? Or when someone's bleeding to death, tell them to "just act normal".

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  3. Um, yeah. Being a dick about it really just defeats the purpose. As you know (as you read my post) I am far from happy right now, and am down right depressed. I did something small yesterday that did bring me a little piece of happy, but sometimes you just have to take the little pieces as they come. Because the rest of my 'Day of Happiness" sucked.

    Hang in there Mark. I'm right there with you.

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  4. SO SO TRUE. When people say that happiness is a choice, I find that to be an incredibly insensitive comment. Depression is usually a brain chemistry issue, it's entirely outside of the person's control!

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  5. i feel this way about many of the trivial days we celebrate...that we have to have a day for happiness or love def speaks to our lack of it....but also assumes our control...there are def those that can not control their mood...

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  6. I find the idea of an International Day of Happiness offensive. This is the kind of idea only wealthy people in the Western world can dream up. They are ignoring the reality of people in countries that are being invaded, people who are starving, people who've just been told they have cancer, people who've just lost loved ones and people like you and I who suffer from depression. I'd like to have a National "Stick it up your arse day."

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  7. Every day should be a day of happiness. I realize that's hopelessly naive though.
    When I worked with a kid with special needs, one of his favorite sayings was, "You should be treated every day as if it was your birthday."
    Pretty profound, if you ask me.

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  8. I am lukcy I have more happy days then sad days....................

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