Thursday, 31 December 2015

Back To The Doctors. Again.

It seems I just can't escape the doctor's office. By the time you're reading this I'll be in there once again. Or I'll have left. Who knows? But my appointment is set for round about the time this post goes up. So I'm likely to also be very tired due to a lack of sleep.

To be honest I haven't slept properly since Christmas
So what's wrong with me this time I hear you ask? I may have an eye infection. Which sucks because I hate things going in or near my eye. I won't even open my eyes under water and an eye infection means eye drops. This is going to be painful.

I woke up a few days ago and my right eye hurt. A few days later and it's still painful and a little puffy. At times it randomly waters too. A friend got worried and asked if I'd been crying because my eyes were red and puffy. I hadn't. So she guilted me into booking an appointment at the doctors. Unfortunately because it's New Years that means I have to go super early or wait a few days to go.

Actual New Years post coming tomorrow
I'll be sure to let everyone know how it goes. While I think I'd look good with an eye patch I guess I shouldn't lose an eye for one and should get checked out.

Monday, 28 December 2015

It's Not Much But It's Something

So Christmas has come and gone. It's incredible how quickly Christmas is forgotten seeing how it starts in November. I miss the days the Christmas season began after Thanksgiving and I'm not even an American. Anyway, with Christmas over comes time to reflect on what we got this year. For me it wasn't much.

The microphone and the two little ponies were the bulk of my Christmas presents. The microphone came from a friend who wanted to help me get into voice over work and the ponies were from my boss. I don't have a lot of friends so the present from him is all I really get outside of family gifts. Family gifts are the usual gift sets for men (deoderatns/shower gels, things like that) and I got some socks too of course. The laptop I'm writing this on is another present as my last one became too damaged. I also got a game and £20 from my brother to buy more games with. Along with two other little ponies. So really it wasn't too bad at all.

The fun part about the money from my brother is that he gave it me after I gave him a pouch of tobacco valued at about £5. My dad gave it to me to give to him. I picked out another present for him that was more valuable but my dad still paid for it. So after I found out what dad picked up was just a pouch of tobacco I said he should give him the more expensive present and I can take the rap for giving him a shit one.

About ten minutes before I gave him his present he texted my dad asking for...tobacco. So I gave him just what he wanted after all. I overslpet so I couldn't give it him in the morning. I also had a lovely meal with my sister and her family.

I think the thing I've learned this year from Christmas is that I need more friends to buy me shit.

How'd your Christmas go?

Friday, 25 December 2015

Merry Christmas Everyone!

This is up a little late because I completely forgot to set it in advance. But what are you reading this for? Go spend some more time with your family.

Merry Christmas everyone. Have a good one.



Thursday, 24 December 2015

Holidays Are Coming

So bloggers here we are. Christmas is tomorrow and instead of being full of holiday cheer you're reading this. Not that I can blame you. I'll still be reading blogs today. Tomorrow too. I like Christmas plenty but when you get home from having Christmas dinner it's kind of back to being a regular day.
Me at around 5PM on Christmas
Still I do hope you all have a merry Christmas, a happy Hannukah, a crazy Kwanza, or whatever the heck you celebrate. Have fun doing it. And if you don't celebrate anything, well then you just have a good day.

The older you get the more appreciative you become of the true meaning of christmas; spending time with the fmaily. And Jesus's birthday I guess. But Christmas really is one of the few times of the year I spend with a large part of my family. It's almost definitely the only day I get to see all of them. So that'll be nice.

I'll make a quick post on Christmas but for now I bid you adieu, and wish you happy holidays.


Monday, 21 December 2015

A Sale And A Story

I come before you today with two things. The first is an announcement. Starting today all of my short stories will be available for free on Amazon until Christmas. Starting tomorrow Tulips and Other Stories will be on sale, thanks to a logistical error. In any event, it's a Christmas sale! Go grab free (and cheap) books!

Get everything here; http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00BIH0T50

Now we go on to more serious things. I have a story for you. It's not mine, but rather it was written by the friend who I exposed you all to during Friendship Week. She gave me a story, a comic, and a rant to share with you all. Now she's back with another story and she's curious about what you think. I think it's good, but I'm biased. The only problem I had with it was run on sentences. Anyway, that's enough from me. Enjoy the story! Buckle up because it's kind of long.
-----------
Elijah Merry Holmes is an interesting man. He managed to go from a successful English teacher, to a man living on the street. The shoes on his feet made of water bottles and simple twine. He is a rather average looking African-American man, currently 67. His previously dark hair is flecked with grey, a result of a hard life. He measures in at 6’4”, giving him a slightly imposing appearance to some. But if you look past his size, you see eyes that have seen years of hardship, and sadness. They also contain a great warmth. His gaze catches some with the honesty and kindness it contains, but no matter how he tries, he can’t hide his unfortunate past.
He was born May 12th 1940, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. His mother managed to raise him and two  brothers, twins in fact, all by herself, at the young age of 19. Well, not quite. You see, both of his brothers are actually half brothers. Their mother often said they were a result of one of the best mistakes she ever made.
The man that got her pregnant left once he found out her condition, and was never heard from again. However, that courageous woman pressed on. She got a meager job at as a secretary, and managed to keep her family fed and clothed for 18 long years. Then the second of those great wars struck our planet. Those two brothers, inseparable since birth, signed up for recruitment, against the wishes of their mother. They went through their basic training, but were sent to separate squadrons. The brothers fought for several years with little to no incident., separated by space, but connected by spirit. Then, on a the fateful day of April 17, 1940, they were both struck and killed by shells, only minutes apart.

The news reached their mother, poor Ms.Kingsley, while she was in her 7th month of pregnancy with her third son. This pregnancy however, was planned. She was so distraught at the deaths of her sons, that she locked herself in her home  for weeks. The only signs of life was the periodic turning on and off of the lights. Through the support of friends and neighbors, she mustered up enough courage to venture outside of her small, dark apartment. She gradually reintegrated into her normal life, going back to work, and resuming her regular visits with friends.
Then, on May 11th, at 11:59 pm, Ms.Kingsley went into labor with her third child.
Elijah was born into this world on a warm spring morning, at exactly 7:53 AM.
He was brought home the following day, showing no signs of ill health.

Now Elijah was different from his brothers. He was created as a result of planning on both his mother and father’s part. You see, after his brothers were shipped out, his mother found herself rather lonely, and longing for someone to talk to. Then, one night she met a charming man, who has lost his wife in a building fire, almost eight years prior. They connected almost immediately, and were married in less than a year. This particular man was an english professor at a local college, so as you can imagine, the now Mrs.Holmes’  life improved considerably.
    Elijah was brought up loving reading and learning. In addition to the education he received at school, his father supplemented his education with a countless number of books, poems and short stories. He became enthralled with the writings of Jules Verne, more specifically, The Mysterious Island. At the age of 7, he had a banana for the first time, and it remained his favorite food for the rest of his life.  As time went on, Elijah excelled in school, and made his way into college, specifically, the University of Philadelphia. Elijah earned his degree in English, and went on to teach at public high schools. He quickly became a favorite teacher of many of students, and earned the respect of his peers.
You may think, “How does a man of this standing manage to end up living in abandoned building with water bottles as his only footwear?”
The answer to this is long, and starts with a young man named Alex Winston.
Alex was a troubled, but bright boy. He came from a troubled background, but had a real passion for knowledge. However, he was severely disturbed, and had battled with what we now know as depression for years. It all started when his mother died in a horrible accident when he was only 9.

He was sitting in the car next to her.

Alex bonded with Elijah, and the two became friends. Alex confided in his teacher some of his troubles, and would go to him when he was in need of advice.

One day Alex came to Elijah with some troubling words. “Mr Holmes, I don’t know what to do anymore.” Alex said with tears forming in his eyes. “I’m in my last year of high school and I have no money, no job, nowhere to go, and I have no chance of paying for college. I feel like I shouldn’t bother trying anymore.” he concluded with a sigh.
    “What are you talking about?” said Elijah, clearly concerned for the boy. “I know you don’t have much money, but your grades are good enough to get you in almost any school you would want to attend.” Alex turned his back on the middle aged man and sighed loudly once again.
    “You don’t understand. Even if I could get into any college, I don’t have the money for a car or to take a train. Heck, I couldn’t even afford groceries.” He turned back to his teacher, eyes visibly reddened with tears running down his cheeks. Elijah took a step forward and embraced the boy.
    “Alex, you are one of the brightest students I’ve ever had. It would be a shame if a flame as bright as you went dark.” he released the boy, keeping one hand on his shoulder. “Whatever you do, don’t give up. When you give up, it all ends.” He looked Alex in the eyes and clapped his hand back on his shoulder a few times. After several seconds Alex sniffled, nodded, and smiled weakly.
    “Thanks Mr Holmes. I’ll remember what you said.” Elijah let the boy go and sat down on his desk, thinking about the recent conversation.
    “Alex doesn’t seem altogether convinced.” he thought silently to himself. He picked up a stray pencil and began chewing on the eraser. He stood up, pushed his chair in, and walked out the room. After searching the campus he finally found Alex. He was standing atop the west most wing of the building; six stories up. Upon seeing this, Elijah ran back inside, and raced up the stairs as quick as he could. He reached Alex just as he started to step off the edge. He reached for him and caught him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him back on to the rooftop.
    “Why did you do that?” shouted Alex, turnin to the breathless Mr.Holmes, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I have nothing to look forward to! No job, no money, no future.” he concluded with a sob. Elijah took Alex’s hand in his own, and closed his other hand over it.
    “Don’t ever say you have nothing to live for.” said Elijah, looking sternly into the boy's eyes. “There is always someone out there who cares about you, even if you don’t know they do. They’re there whether you see them or not.” Alex collapsed into a heap on the rooftop, just as the rain started to fall.

After calming Alex and leading him inside Elijah found the boy a towel and a change of clothes. After a few soft words he sent the boy home.

Mr Holmes’ deed was never learned of by most of the student body. Alex hadn’t wanted people to know what he had almost done, so Elijah agreed to keep it a secret.

Two weeks passed before any big developments in Elijah’s life occurred. Unbeknownst to all but a few choice friends, Elijah was actually a homosexual. He kept this fact from the school because he feared they would terminate his employment. He kept his relationship very secretive. His boyfriend, Franklin Lovegood, only met with him in private a few times a week. However one day Franklin dropped Elijah off at his shop and a student took a picture of them kissing one another. The picture was immediately spread throughout the entire school and a great deal of controversy emerged. Despite his popularity among the students, and the support he had from many of them, Mr Holmes was fired.

After this incident he found it impossible to get jobs at any public schools. He quickly ran out of money and his boyfriend also lost his job. The two found themselves homeless and living on the streets of an unforgiving city. Months passed and winter came. The two found themselves huddling together for warmth, their clothes in tatters and their shoes falling apart. They started thinking back to their previous lives. Back to dates they had gone on when they had first met each other.

Elijah thought back to Franklin’s old life. Franklin loved the movies, and In 1952 the two men saw one of the first showings of Singing In The Rain. Franklin adored the show so much that Elijah purchased him a record of the movie’s songs for his birthday soon after.

Franklin thought back to Elijah’s old life. He remembered spending the night at Elijah’s and waking up in the morning to find Elijah already wide awake, writing another one of his stories with a pot of hot tea next to him, and two cups set.

Thoughts like these kept them going throughout the cold months. Unfortunately all of this took a severe toll on Elijah. He began smoking for the first time in his life, and wound up spending most of the money they had on cigarettes.People became afraid of Franklin and Elijah. People would obviously avoid them on the streets and turn away when they walked past them.

Then in the spring their shoes finally gave out and they didn’t have the money to purchase new pairs. They scoured donation centres but they could never find shoes that were large enough. Elijah was forced to improvise. He took twine from a bundle of newspapers, and gathered several water bottles from the garbage. With these he crafted some makeshift footwear. These shoes were very uncomfortable. They caused blisters, raw spots, and bleeding. At one point Franklin’s feet became so red and raw that he couldn’t walk for a week. Throughout this time the two men stayed together, their affection for eachother never wavering.

One day, the following winter, the two men were huddled underneath the overhang of a building when a brightly polished pair of shoes stopped in front of them. Elijah looked up and saw a man who he recognised. It was someone he hadn’t seen in a long time. A young man, twenty four years old, wearing a business suit and carrying a briefcase. The man frowned, kneeled down, and placed a hand on Elijah’s shoulder. The gesture shocked Elijah. No one besides Franklin and his fellow hobos had been willing to touch him. The young man looked down at Elijah’s feet and saw the crude “shoes” that were fastened with more pieces of twine than he could count, on to feet that showed years of abuse. The toll of a life lived on the streets. He looked up into Elijah’s eyes. Those eyes, filled with grief, but still containing the same kindness and understanding they had years ago. Elijah met the man’s eyes and let out a gasp. In a voice choked with emotion Elijah whispered “Alex?”

Alex nodded and gave a small smile. He took both mens hands and pulled them upward. He embraced them both, feeling the emptiness the two shared. The men separated and Alex turned his focus to Elijah. “You saved me. And I never thanked you. AFter that day I went home and applied for as many scholarships as I could find. I got an amazing of responses and was able to go to law school on a full scholarship. I graduated top of my class with honors, but high school was never the same after they fired you.After you left, Mr Holmes, so many students were gathered in your defense I thought they were going to riot. ” Alex paused, and glanced over at Franklin. “ You changed my life for the better Mr Holmes and gave me a future. All these years I’ve wondered where you were, and now I found you just a few blocks from my office building. What the school did to you was unfair and I can’t change what they did, but I can help you now. I want to give you both jobs and help you get back your lives.” Franklin and Elijah looked at each other in amazement. Franklin tried to speak but couldn’t. A single tear rolled down his cheek. These two grown men, who had faced so much adversity due to their race and sexuality, were finally getting a second chance at life. The men gathered their few belongings and walked off with Alex towards their futures.

Friday, 18 December 2015

Busy So I'm Being Lazy

As I laid out in my post yesterday I'm being kept quite busy with work. Then again no one commented so maybe no one read it? In any case, I've got some funny pictures for y'all to have a good laugh at.

Murrica!
As I understand it, this is a genuine line from a book.
Tom from MySpace had a lot of friends. Once upon a time.
Fun fact; Cats will eat a human corpse!
There are some things even Pepperidge Farm doesn't remember
English is an evil language
I love a good pun
Holy....
God dammit Jack
I'd have a framed picture of my ceiling fan, if I had a ceiling fan
The resemblance is uncanny!
WHAT THE FU-
I'll leave you with some writer humour.
See you next week folks.

Diversify!

(This post was supposed to go up yesterday, but I messed up the scheduling!)

With stock markets there's always one piece of advice people offer; diversify your assets. That way you have plenty of ways to make money and if one outlet goes down you still have more. Don't worry though, this post has nothing to do with stocks. I haven't entered that market yet.

Though I have considered it a few times
 Diversifying is just a good idea in general. For the most part. It's definitely proved pretty useful for me as a freelancer recently. As you're no doubt aware I supplement my income through freelance writing. Sometimes it's pretty good, sometimes it's...not so good. One major problem with freelance writing is if that if article writing is all you have then you're only able to offer that one service. Artists can offer plenty of different graphics related services, and musicians can offer plenty of different music related services, but writers can only offer writing.
At least I'm a good writer
Recently though I decided to try and diversify. I noticed that I was getting a lot of people asking me to rewrite articles, rather than just write them from scratch. So I decided to offer that as a separate service and I have to say it worked out quite well for me. People have started using that service and I've been kept very busy these past few weeks thanks to a huge influx of freelance writing work. The downside is I've not been able to write in The Spirit, but this is the way I chose things to go.

I've also started advertising voice work in two separate services after a friend of mine was super cool and sent me a microphone for Christmas. It sounds pretty good. Good enough for voice work? I guess we'll see.

P.S I didn't mean to do this, but I would be remiss at this point if I didn't say that hey, if you're interested in hiring me, just look to the right there and you'll see a link to my Fiverr profile that has all the gigs I offer.

Monday, 14 December 2015

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

One thing about working in a store is that things get pretty Christmassy this time of year. My boss has actually gone so far as to wear a Christmas sweater for the last few weeks. I think he has a few of them. I still have a picture of the one he wore last year. There's no such thing as a bad Christmas sweater; the uglier they are the better they are.
It's beautiful
Every year my other boss goes crazy with the Christmas decorating. He always makes the place look pretty great and adds a layer of prettiness to the place. Though it does look fine during the rest of the year of course. We keep a clean store after all. But hey, Christmas is Christmas and everything looks better when it's festive. I love a good bit of Christmas decoration. I wish I could get into it more at home but no one here really gets excited. Last year the place got decorated because my nieces did it.

Anyway, enjoy some festive decoration.

Friday, 11 December 2015

The Funny Pages

Man I wonder how well these posts do in terms of views. I should take a look at that some time. Not right now though. I'm tired. I'm going out for a Christmas meal tonight so I should be able to make a post out of that at least some time next week.

Whenever someone says "Let's get down to business" I immediately think "TO DEFEAT THE HUNS!" Always
I wish I lost more this year
The IT Crowd is one of my favourite shows.
A Canadian confession
You have to be really lazy to set something on fire from a distance
#FirstWorldProblems
Worked in retail; can confirm
Darth Maul is a douchebag
Darn tootin
I too wish to own this watch

Thursday, 10 December 2015

I'm Apparently Healthy

As I mentioned on Monday's post I was due for yet another hospital visit on Tuesday. Things didn't get off to the best start as I arrived at the hospital an hour early. I was sure my appointment was at 4:20 and my dad was sure it was 3:40. As the driver he got to pick. Plus I have more faith in his memory than mine. Turns out I was right.
If I never see another waiting room again I'll be a happy man
 When I got in they offered me a choice; I could occupy my time elsewhere in the hospital or I could be checked in early in the hopes I could be seen early. I chose to check in early but fully resigned myself to the prospect of being stuck in that waiting room for over an hour. In all of my other visits to the hospital I wasn't seen until about 20 or 30 minutes after the appointed time.

Oddly enough in quite the stroke of luck I was seen early. About half an hour early to be exact. I was still stuck in the waiting room for half an hour but I could live with that. So that was a lesson learned for me; turn up an hour early and be seen half an hour early, or turn up on time and be seen half an hour late.
Basically your waiting period starts as soon as you arrive.
The better news was, as the title infers, that I'm apparently completely healthy. I was a little worried about my throat but the doctor took a look and even shoved a camera back up my nose (it was oddly not as unpleasant the second time around) and said everything looked fine. Any problem I have is completely normal and should go away. Also they sent the tonsils they cut out of me to be tested and all the tests came back clean. So the only problem I had was tonsilitis. No tonsils; no tonsilitis.

Now to just wait until I get my sleep study results back. Then I can sit in a waiting room for half an hour again.

Yay.

Monday, 7 December 2015

Having A Sleep Study

I mentioned in last Friday's post that I was having a sleep study done at home. I don't remember if I mentioned it on the blog or not but I was supposed to have one done the Sunday before last (29th of November) but the hospital called to say they had to cancel. Then they called me on Thursday and asked if I could come in for a home sleep study kit.
Pretty similar to what I had to wear
I had to have a plug in my nose to track breathing through my nose, a heart rate monitor on my chest, a microphone for snoring and breathing, and one of those clips on my finger to measure my pulse and bloodflow. I looked pretty weird in the full kit. I'd show you but it required me being shirtless and no one needs to see that.

The worst part of the study was that everything was preprogrammed. It was set to turn itself on at 11PM and off at 8AM. I don't know if y'all know this but I'm what people call a night owl. My regular sleeping pattern is 3AM to 11AM (I generally fall asleep around 4AM). So that was a bit of a kicker.

In the interests of giving them a good reading I decided to go to bed early for once. The day I woke up even. At around half 11 I laid down in bed, shut my eyes, and waited until I fell asleep because I suck at falling asleep. I think I just literally don't know how to sleep sometimes.

I know people who can fall asleep in seconds. Like there's some switch they can hit. Not me though.
Then I wake up and it turns out it's about 3:30AM...the time I normally wake up. Another problem with sleep I have is that sometimes I have nights like that. Where I'll sleep for a few hours, wake up, and then be unable to get back to sleep. I laid in bed for another two hours trying to get back to sleep with no success.

I went to bed early to avoid giving them only a few hours of data, only to get just a few hours of data.

In the end I had no choice but to return it how it was and write on the sheet they gave me what happened. Hopefully there's still enough data for them to be able to tell me what's wrong with me. I didn't actually find out how long it'll take them to analyse everything. I imagine with such an incomplete set of data they may ask me to come in for a proper one at the hospital.

In other news I'm finally going back to the hospital tomorrow for my post-op checkup. Good. The area where my tonsils used to be itches and still hurts. I'll keep everyone updated on both health situations.

Thursday, 3 December 2015

I'm Sleeping So Take This

Hey guys I'm doing my sleep study at home instead. More on that at a later date. For now just have some laughs and I'll see you on Monday.


Hipster Santa; ruining christmas since ever
The sun hates you
   
Excellent point

I know we all hate to step on LEGO but the man has a point
"I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" is one of my favourite songs
Technically correct but it'll still get you shot
AJ Lee is bae. Is that what the kids say these days? Bae?
Moments like this enforce my belief I'd be a drunk if I could afford it
An acceptable use of emoticons
We can but hope
The more you know
The dad I wish to be
See ya Monday folks.

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