Thursday, 5 May 2016

I Have Tiny Blue Pills

There's no need to worry though. They aren't viagra. Actually thanks to all my writing work I've now discovered the natural remedy for erectile dysfunction. You know all those products that promise to fix everything for just $49? I wrote about them so much I was able to work out what goes into the ones for ED. I even gave it a shot for fun and was surprised to find out it actually works. Anyway, I'm not here to tell you about boner pills I'm here to tell you about stomach pills.
This pill to be specific
I mentioned that I planned to go to my doctor and ask him for a little more help. I would ask him either for an anti-depressant or some form of dietary aid. I like how every time I go to the doctor I plan out in my head what I'm going to say to him. When I actually get there though what happens is that I just cut straight to the point. I just told him that I needed some help, asked for a dietary aid, and showed him the over the counter stuff I was using. He told me that the only real anti-obesity drug they have is that stuff up there and gave me a month's supply. They are also little and blue. But they don't have the same shape as viagra so it's all good.
The main effect they have is to prevent fat from being absorbed by my body. If I eat something particularly fatty...well let's just say it's not pretty and it hurts. I tried eating a sausage roll after taking one of these tablets and it did not take long at all to regret that decision. Oddly enough that's the only time I had an adverse reaction though. Since then I've eaten omelettes and chicken and just yesterday I had a shepherds pie. A friend explained that eggs have unsaturated fat and chicken isn't very fatty.

The only downside is that a month after he gave me the tablets is actually a day or two after my birthday; a day I plan on eating like crap and drinking copious amounts of alcohol. So I'll be booking myself in for a follow up the day before most likely.

Now I just need to ensure that I keep on taking these tablets.

8 comments:

  1. Yeah, of course you tried 'em "for fun" Mark. ;D Though don't they all just stimulate blood flow down there one way or another? That's what it should boil down to, right?
    "I plan on eating like crap" ):

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only on my birthday, which is the one day of the year (other than Christmas of course) where one can do that without it being bad. Potentially gross details to follow about erectile dysfunction.

      ED medication itself increases your blood pressure which gets blood pumping down there. They can give you a boner but they can't treat the root cause. The actual cause of ED is inflammation. The things we eat and stuff like that all contribute to inflammation including having inflamed blood vessels. This increases blood pressure and it can also happen in the penis. So the natural remedy for ED is actually foods that decrease inflammation. There are plenty of them too. All I did was blend together raspberries and blueberries and it had pretty much the same effect as viagra. It also cut my refractory period in half. So it does work. But it's not worth paying $50 for.

      Delete
  2. I'm sure you had to conduct very rigorous research into the effectiveness of your home-made viagra. Scientists don't balk at any sacrifice for knowledge.

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  3. never heard of this drug, let's see how well this works for you. I should eat more raspberries and blueberries, I think I have arthritis which is kind of inflammation

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  4. These sound pretty good Mark, I honestly do think that your problem is the kind of thing that can be helped by taking some sort of pill so fingers crossed this is the one for you and that you start noticing the difference too. I can't believe that your job nowadays is to review products, which a lot of the time ends up being Viagra, that's pretty hilarious.

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  5. Hope these pills are the ticket. Obesity runs in my family but I use my cycling to manage my potential curse. It also encourages me to eat better. Swap to chicken instead of red meats as often as you can and use smaller plates (it works).

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  6. Now tell us about the boner pills.

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  7. Doctors down under will not prescribe such pills but I wouldn't mind something like it myself

    ReplyDelete

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