Thursday, 18 August 2016

In A Strange Mood

Even though there are probably a few things on my mind I could blog about, my mind is also being a bit of a cunt at the minute. I'm in one of those straneg moods where I'm convinced that it doesn't matter what I write about because no one really cares much either way. Which I know isn't the case because I have an audience. It's not the largest in the world but it's mine.

I'm just in a bad headspace for some reason. I'm one of the people who can't focus on the good. I can always find it. I can just never focus on it or accept it. Like work has been a little slow this week. It's not too bad because A) I'm able to stay on top of my work again and B) I'm going to be busy this week. But it's still bad because less work means less money. I'm actually going to be working next week when I'm supposed to be on holiday. I've had too many expenses this month. Too much has broken or gone wrong. So I don't even get to take a week off work and some of the mobile broadband data I bought to stay in touch with my friends will instead be used to download and deliver work.

I also haven't slept well this week, which isn't helping. My insides feel like a mess and I wouldn't be surprised if they were. I tend to eat pretty badly when I'm tired. I'm trapped in so many vicious circles I don't know if I could ever escape all of them.

Sometimes my head is not a friendly place to be. This is one of those times. But this too shall pass.

8 comments:

  1. Sleep's probably a big factor, I rarely ever feel any better than "half decent" if I haven't slept well, and it's often worse. Take it easy, go to bed early, sleep in (but not too long!), and see if that puts more pep in your step.
    As you said, it will pass. No highs without lows!

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  2. I hope you get through soon.

    Sometimes, when I feel really good and clear-headed, I try and figure out why, and often, it turns out to be about the amount of sleep I'm getting.

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  3. yes this time will pass. Get rest and eat well.

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  4. I'm sorry you've been down Mark. I mean there's nothing wrong with a bit of apathy, like you talked about when you said you didn't feel like people cared about what you had to say, but your mind having dark thoughts isn't great. You know I've been there many times, so I know how horrible it was. Keep your head up and don't be afraid to ask for help. There's no shame in needing help, trust me

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  5. "This too shall pass."
    And that is precisely why you'll be fine!
    Optimism, my friend. Sounds like you're afflicted.

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  6. "This too shall pass."
    And that is precisely why you'll be fine!
    Optimism, my friend. Sounds like you're afflicted.

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  7. That lack of sleep can really affect a person in all areas. I hope the sleep difficulties subside, my friend.

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