Friday, 29 April 2016

Friday Funtimes Something or Other

Today I'm taking Moo Moo to the vet. It's her first time with this vet and the second time I've tried to put her in a carrier. It better not take ten minutes this time.

Speaking of cat doctors; a doctor cat

Awww yeah butter


We need the Ghostbusters to save us from the ghost of Freud. The real Ghostbusters that is. The ones from the 80s.

I can't work near a zoo

Well there's our proof. If it existed there would be porn of it.
I'm still yet to eat a twinkie. Not sure I want one now.

I'm gonna need a pet lizard. And a tortoise. 

And you thought it was just a parenting joke.

I think I'd rather have a grenade

My cats would never agree to this. Shame :(
Have a good weekend folks.

Thursday, 28 April 2016

I Just Filed My First Tax Return

I'll tell you now that this post is written well in advance. It's currently 02:53 AM on Wednesday as I write this. I'd still class it as Tuesday night but it is technically Wednesday morning. I just wanted to write this while the memory was still fresh in my mind. So I thought I'd do some writing before bed. As you can no doubt tell from the title of this post I just filed my first ever tax return.
You can feel the evil
I'm going to level with you; it was a LOT easier than I thought it would be. I've heard horror stories about filling in taxes. Stories of how you need every receipt you've ever received ever at hand. In the end I didn't need to provide details of a single purchase. I just needed to provide totals. No need tor any receipts. How about that? I wonder if things are done differently here than in the states.

It was all online which was pretty nice. All I did was load up the website that I use to do all my accounting (Wave Accounting if you're interested) and the online tax form and went from there. The only problem I had was with personal expenses. It took me about 5 minutes to figure out how to switch to my personal account to get the totals for that. The interest on my savings was a pain in the butt too but there were no real problems.

I suppose there is always the chance that I messed up and did it all wrong. It'll take a few days for them to process the return and tell me if I've done it right and how much I owe. Then I just pay it and I'm done.

If I've done everything right then I don't get all the fear about doing taxes. If I've done it wrong then yeah, I'm going to understand that and just go to an accountant.
I wonder what IRS is up to. I bet he could help with taxes
The best part is that one of the questions was asking me if I've taken part in any tax avoidance schemes. Yeah, cos I'm going to admit to that. I wonder if they've ever caught anyone out with that question.

For the record I've never taken part in any kind of tax evasion scheme.

Monday, 25 April 2016

The Monotony Of Life

I've gone and found myself in a position that I really hate to be in. The kind of position that I hate the most. I've gone and found myself kind of stuck in a rut; in an almost infinite loop of similarity. As much as I hate change I also hate monotony. I hate it when everything is the same every day. That's why I was so confused about what day it was last week. All my days kind of blend together. It's not happened to me on this level since the super depression of my late teens. Those days are so dark that I can't even tell you what I did because I don't remember. I'm pretty sure all that memory repression is another reason I have such issues now. I repressed my early teens and my late teens. I think I have more memories of being 3-8 than I do of being 12-19.
It didn't happen if you don't let yourself remember it.
Whenever someone asks me what I do or what I've been up to I don't really have an answer for them. It's exactly the same. I wake up, I have breakfast, I do my writing work in the afternoon and I play games in the evening. That's it. That's really all I've done for the past month now. Except for shopping trips, the occasional visit to the gym, and my voluntary work almost nothing different happens in my life. Even that follows a set pattern though. Gym on Monday and Thursday, shopping on Wednesday and volunteering on Sunday.

It's kind of odd that as much as I hate change I also really do hate things being stale. I need to do something but I have no time to really do anything else. Or energy for that matter. I'm considering starting driving lessons sooner rather than later. Dad was complaining that his back is hurting but he's still the main driver in the family. Not that I can stick to his driving schedule. He drives a lot when I'm working, which is another reason I don't get out of the house much.

Friday, 22 April 2016

Today is Not Saturday

For some reason I was convinced it was Friday most of yesterday and I had to constantly remind myself that today was not in fact Saturday. Today is Friday.

It's funny because it's true

I really hope someone was fired for "Jack Mehoff"



Not gonna lie I still play with these at times and hope no one saw

Dad jokes errywhere

I hope I don't get h4xx0r3d for this

It's so cuuteeee

Those poor hungry feminists

I'm really surprised my cats don't do this

Even dogs grow into things...

Please don't try this at home.
I want to believe this is a true tory 
#ParentingGoals

Thursday, 21 April 2016

I Feel Like Such an Adult

Tuesday was a day filled with adulthood for me.  I had to go to the bank because I misplaced my bank card. I went to the mall after going to the gym and Monday and I was worried I accidentally threw it in the trash. It turns out it dropped out my pocket in Paul's car but by then I had already cancelled it. I went to the bank to double check it was cancelled and make a small withdrawal. My new card actually turned up yesterday. Still no contactless card.
Still not in the 21st century
After visiting the bank I kept on walking and headed to the doctors. I said before that I would visit the doctor if I had gained weight and I had. Physically I know what I have to do to lose weight. I don't need lessons in nutrition. Unfortunately my head and my heart just aren't in it anymore. My appointment is for next Thursday. It'll actually be after my meeting thing oddly enough.

After visiting the doctor came one last adult stop. On the way back home I stopped by the dentists office. Unfortunately the office was closed for lunch so I couldn't go in. I took a note of the number though and promised myself I'd call it when I got home. Unlike every other time I promise myself something I actually followed through this time. Sadly my circumstances (I need an afternoon appointment) coupled with their patient load (it's an NHS dentist) I won't be seen until June. That's right folks it'll be more than one month from now.

I hope I still have teeth by then.

Monday, 18 April 2016

I Don't Even Know How That Happened

So as I mentioned before I'm with a different weight loss group now. The one I'm with is far closer to home. It's like a five-ten minute drive away as opposed to a twenty minute drive away. I've also had my number of weeks reset so I'm there for ten more weeks. It turns out that the first meeting was actually last week. So while I was supposed to be getting weighed I was repainting the house and then eating pizza.
Not a One
For the first set of weeks it's just the stuff I already did anyway. So I'm not learning anything new. I'm also too socially awkward to impress people with my knowledge as I know everything already. So there's literally no benefit to this except for a shorter car ride.

I'm with a guy this time and one thing he doesn't do actually is weigh us. Or at least he never weighed me. I had to go up on the scale myself at the end of the session. To be honest I really wish I didn't. I don't know how it happened. I don't even know how it's humanly possible. But apparently I have gained four kilos.

Gained.

FOUR

KILOS

I'm going to have to weigh myself at the gym to be sure because that just can't be possible. I was supposed to lose that much in 12 weeks. Not fucking gain it in two. If I weigh myself at the gym and it comes to even close that then I need to go back to the doctor. If I've actually managed to gain eight to nine pounds in two weeks then I need some serious fucking help.

Friday, 15 April 2016

I Need a Laugh

Man after the day I had yesterday and the day I expect to have today I need a good laugh. Have one on me.


No girl is that dirty

They knew what they did

HAIL SATAN

If only I had an uncle called Jack. And a horse.

Whose Line is a fantastic show and this is guaranteed to get you laid

Kinda sad but kinda funny 
Tuna DOES have a lot of sodium you know....

I'd let my kids watch that show. 
Have some Harry Potter trivia

I need dis. I need all of dis. 
Have a good weekend folks.

Thursday, 14 April 2016

Sleep Deprivation Sucks

You know what really sucks? Sleep deprivation. As I said in the title there. Last night I didn't get a whole lot of sleep. Maybe three to four hours. Unfortunately I still had to stay busy for a lot of it because I had to do a lot of writing, get my shopping done, and generally stave off my impending insanity. What do people do when they're tired but have to keep on going? They eat of course.
Why is food so delicious?
So what did I do yesterday? Why I overate of course. Same as I do most days really. But do you know when was an especially bad time to do that? Yesterday. Because I get weighed today. Which is gonna really suck because I gained a little weight the last time I was weighed too. I was supposed to have 12 straight losses but nah, fuck that, I have to comfort eat or some shit and can't stop eating.

A few days ago I actually gave in and bought some appetite suppressants. I've been writing a lot about them (and other diet pills) so I thought I'd give them a go. If emotional eating and an appetite I couldn't satiate where what was stopping me then an appetite suppressant sounded like a good idea. I'm not sure why I expected them to work. I just know they didn't. Although apparently the heavier you are the less effective those kinds of pills are. Maybe I'm literally too fat to suppress my appetite with anything besides cake.

I should probably go see my doctor. These courses clearly aren't working. I don't really need them to be honest. They haven't taught me anything I don't know. It's all been about nutrition and how to read food packaging and stuff. I know all that stuff.

Ignorance isn't my problem.

Eating is.

Monday, 11 April 2016

Painting

I mentioned in a post last week that I was doing some redecorating in my home. I don't really have much else to talk about so I figure I might as well talk about that. It was last Thursday when I went and bought Starry Night. I booked the day off of work because we were having some carpets installed. We were also supposed to have some hardwood put down in the hallway but unfortunately the floor tiles are so damaged we need to have someone fix that before we can put wood over them. Which sucks because my dad has been trying to correct the problem himself. First we couldn't get the kitchen done because they didn't want to fix the roof, now we can't get the floor done because they don't want to fix the floor. To be honest I'm not surprised people go for immigrant workers. A Pole could have done everything in the house for us by now.
Who's gonna make Britain "Great" Again?
Because they couldn't do the downstairs they were gone by midday. At least the landing looks pretty great now. It feels so soft too. The cats seem to like it too. Anyway, because they were gone, and I had so much free time, I decided I might as well finish painting the house. I painted it at some point last year but I gave up half way through. So for about a year only half of the hallway and landing has been painted. After accidentally buying the wrong paint I was finally able to get started. A few hours of hard work later and now a good portion of my house is blue. The landing is very blue, the hallways is pretty blue, and we even have a lighter blue set aside to paint the living room (where the carpet is also blue). About the only thing that isn't blue is my bedroom, which is still purple, and my cats, which brown, black, and white.

My hands were also blue for a time
It feels nice to fix the house up but it's so annoying how slow everything is moving. I don't know how long it'll take to get the hallway floor fixed. The kitchen roof still isn't fixed. I think my dad dislikes the idea of hiring handymen, but I suck at this shit and he's old and shouldn't really be doing this.

Bah if only I were rich.

Friday, 8 April 2016

Friday Fun Times Issue Something

So the weekend is on us once more. I did some decorating yesterday. More on that perhaps some other time.

Honest Abe never lied 
I like tuna sammcihes

I wouldn't mess with this otter 
Mind fucking blown

GAWD you shilords

Please be good parents.

I don't know why this always makes me laugh so much

If an owl found its way to my house I'd keep it

Well a toaster is still a toaster 
This is a great idea, but the payoff would take a few years at least

Yesterday I mentioned that we had a copy of "Starry Night" at the shop. Yesterday I also gave in and bought it. 
Have a good weekend folks!

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